On maintaining friendships

This is a somewhat personal story...

Years ago, I met a guy through some work I was doing on the web and we became friends.  We found out we had a lot in common, and would hang out a few times a year (we lived in different parts of the country so it revolved around common activities).  He appeared on a Dolphins podcast that I had at one point, and on the Disney podcast, too.

He was a good human being. And I was glad to call him a friend.

The pandemic came, and we didn't see each other for a while, and we fell behind on communicating.  Hey.  It happens, that's life.

I saw something that I was pretty sure this friend would enjoy knowing about, so I dropped him an email.  I got a fairly unexpected reply, from his daughter: "sorry to tell you that he passed away after a brief illness, about two months ago"

I was stunned.  I reached out to a few other mutual friends to let them know.  Only to find out that during his illness, he had reached out to them to let them know he was not doing well.  And then a fairly close friend of his let this group know when he passed.

But I was left out of the conversation.  That stung a little more.

We obviously hadn't been that close in the last few years, and I hardly blame him.  But I was mildly surprised that the other folks hadn't mentioned anything to me. 

Again, that is life.  Still, it made me a little sad.  

But then I remembered an interview with former Dolphin player. and hall of famer, Larry Little from a few years back.  

He told a story about how a college teammate was in town, and had reached out and asked him to dinner. He said he was too tired and didn't go.  And the friend wound up having a heart attack and dying a few days later.  He felt great guilt and quietly reflected on that.  His advice to himself - and others - was to always try and see people that you care about when you have the chance.  Don't let being tired or busy be an excuse.  Cherish the people you like, and let them in.

And that's what I was trying to do in reaching out to my friend, and others who I've lost touch with over the years.   My aim is to cultivate better friendships, and try to not let this happen anymore to people I actually like and care about.  It's not so hard to send an email, or a quick text, or even make time to meetup if the person is nearby.

And that's the same advice I pass along to you.  The world is strange a lot of the time, but there are good people in it.  I'd like to encourage anyone reading this to make an effort to not let people just slip out of your life, only to find out that they died unexpectedly.